Developmental psychologist described three different types of parenting styles based on her researcher with preschool-age children. One of the main parenting is Authoritarian parenting, these parents “are obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation.
What is an Authoritarian?
An authoritarian is a person who conducts things with little democracy and is willing to take away many privileges to command control. In everyday language, an authoritarian is a person commonly referred to as a control freak, dictator, or other related things.
An Authoritarian parents Have strict rules and expectations, they are very demanding, but not responsive. Don’t express much warmth or nurturing. They utilize punishments with little or no explanation. They don’t give children choices or options. Authoritarian parents believe that children thrive in a home where there is structure; boundaries, strict routines, firm discipline, and high levels of well-defined parental authority. Authoritarian parents are typically very old fashioned, with rules and ideas that are dogmatic and lacking empirical sense.
- If the child asks the parent about why he can’t smoke cigarettes, the parent would simply say, “Because it is injurious to health and that’s all”
- If a boy asks why he can’t go to college instead of being a mechanic like his father the father would reply, “Because am your father and I say no and no means no”
Effects of Authoritarian Parenting:
Because authoritarian parents expect absolute obedience, children raised in such settings are typically very good at following rules. Authoritarian parents believe in holding their children to a very high level of achievement and status. However, they may lack self-discipline. Unlike children raised by authoritative parents, children raised by authoritarian parents are not encouraged to explore and act independently, so they never really learn how to set their own limits and personal standards. Some children display more aggressive behavior outside the home. Have difficulty in social situations.. Instead of explaining and teaching their children right from wrong they will just punish (often harshly) them. If kids are never praised for good behavior and only punished for bad, this will probably lead to a bad relationship between the parent and the child, and the child will never know what behaviors are really good., harsh punishments may make them behave for you out of fear when they are small, but once they get to a certain age they likely won’t be scared of you anymore, and by then it is too late to get them to actually respect you. Teenagers of authoritarian parents are usually the most likely to rebel.
“In child rearing it would unquestionably be easier if a child were to do something because we say so. The authoritarian method doe s expedite things, but it does not produce independent functioning. If a child has not mastered the underlying principles of human interactions and merely conforms out of coercion or conditioning, he has no tools to use, no resources to apply in the next situation that confronts him”
In short, authoritarian parents give the orders and children obey. There is no room for discussion, no choices to make, no questions to be answered. Authoritarian parents don’t feel a need to explain the rules or the reasons why they expect certain things from their children. Instead, everything is “because I said so.” Parents that use this style often have a strong need to be in control at all times and provide their children with little, if any, freedoms.
Typically, authoritarian parents hold their children to a very high level of achievement. They are highly demanding and less responsive to their children’s emotional needs. These parents tend to display lower levels of communication, focusing more on controlling the child. This parenting style is based on strict disciplinary rules and failure to follow these rules often results in harsh punishment.
Authoritarian parenting suppresses a child’s intellectual growth and creativity. It encourages children to either rebel against their parents, or to become submissive toward life in general. An authoritarian parenting style is often linked with low self-esteem and an external locus of control, with the child finding the need for someone else to be in control of them.
Think a quote from Michael Pearl will illustrate what I’m talking about:
Never reward delayed obedience by reversing the sentence. And, unless all else fails, don’t drag him to the place of cleansing. Part of his training is to come submissively. However, if you are just beginning to institute training on an already rebellious child, who runs from discipline and is too incoherent to listen, then use whatever force is necessary to bring him to bay. If you have to sit on him to spank him then do not hesitate. And hold him there until he is surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher, more patiently enduring and are unmoved by his wailing. Defeat him totally. Accept no conditions for surrender. No compromise. You are to rule over him as a benevolent sovereign. Your word is final.